“ I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well say now, I
have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading
this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside.
You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I
lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday.
These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was
a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my
dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to
someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies.
It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for
you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the
pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me,
destroyed my soul.
I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from
everything. The career is not even worth it anymore. When I first met
you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love
I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny
brought us together. After all the pain, the r*pe, the abuse, the
torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this.
I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became
increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your
life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay
here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career
and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you.
About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you.
You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else.
I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted
you to feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give
you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in
my blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when
you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love
wants to abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling
other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you
have no where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they
lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or
disrespects their family.
You never even met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore
my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I
did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my
partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me. I
always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I
had in your betterment.
You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no
confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you
took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I
waited for you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something.
The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still
spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed
my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back.
When I tried my hardest to make your birthday special. You chose to
be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to
one year we would get engaged. All you want in life is partying, your
women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and my happiness
you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly you would
throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this
world to live for after this.
I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I
dreamt f our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams
and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up
again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with
you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this”
On June 8, 2013 Khan’s Condolence meeting was held at Vile Parle
Medical Club to pray Jiah. Bollywood actors in attendance included Aamir
Khan, Deepika Padukone, Randhir Kapoor, Prateik Babbar, Sanjay Kapoor,
Shweta Pandit, Kiran Rao, Urvashi Dholakia, Ranjeet, Deepak Parashar,
Sanjay Khan and Naghma.
